Lighthouse Keeper

The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. (John 10:12)

I was watching a podcast the other day where they were talking about the difference between “like” and “care”. 

The example they gave was of a school teacher who felt bad because he liked certain kids more than others. He liked them at different levels, however his level of care for them remained constant. The school teacher was the true shepherd who cared for the sheep, even if he didn’t like them equally. A hired hand cares nothing and abandons the lambs to the wolves. So you can care for people that you don’t like and vice versa. 

Social media is all about profile likes and we have started equating attention with liking. Then we get disappointed when our supposed online friends don’t care for us in a crisis. 

People can like or dislike you to various levels but this is not the same as caring about you. 

That was a breakthrough for me. 

I used to have 5000 followers on Twitter and was a big part of the social and online communities. I was invited to influencer events, given free tickets to corporate boxes, and sent new product launches from PR companies. It was a hard lesson that while these people online may have liked me, in a practical sense there were very few who actually cared for me enough to make an effort and pick me up when I  stumbled or needed support. I don’t really see this as a failing on the communities part. I don’t think it’s possible to force yourself to care for everyone and some people simply don’t have the will or the capacity to care for people at that depth. But it was a wake up for me when I had my accident and was live tweeting from St Vincent’s  A and E in Sydney that I was on my own. So what did the Lord do? He sent strangers to care for me. I don’t know whether they liked me or not but I had world class orthopaedic and plastic surgeons and psychiatrists who provided practical assistance when I needed it. Do you see the difference?

In a church context, with the focus on platform in the modern church, we have a lot of hired hands who care nothing for the sheep. Religious people who may like you and enjoy your company and your following but in a practical sense, they aren’t prepared for to care for you at an individual level. “They care nothing for the sheep”. I’ve experienced this in big churches and small churches. Pastoral care is very unpopular because it is essentially a private ministry that takes a lot from the shepherd and provides no spotlight or immediate reward.  Many religious people are interested in what you can do for them and their church building mission and as Jesus teaches: “Beware the yeast of the Pharisees”(Mark 8:15) – people with an agenda who want to slot you into their church building program. (I have a lot to say about the obsession with church building but I’ll write more about that soon). 

One thing I have learned over the years, is that intimacy and depth of friendship is very important. You can know a lot of people but will those people be there for you when the chips are down? I now prune away people in my inner circle who don’t have empathy or practical care skills. People who are self absorbed and trauma dump without taking any interest in what might be going on in my world. If it’s all take and no give; I’m not really interested and simply wanting lots of people to like me doesn’t interest me anymore. 

Jesus likes you and He cares for you because He is the Good Shepherd (John 10, Ezekiel 34) and lays down his life for his sheep. He calls you friend (John 15:15) and wants to have a close relationship with you and provide practical support for his sheep and lambs. Don’t get disappointed with people who don’t show up. Return to the Lord and He will give you people who care and like you and best of all….Himself.